The Worst, Best Show On Television
Finally got around to watching the season two premier of AMC’s, The Walking Dead, and within minutes (literally less than six minutes into the episode), was reminded why I hated the show so much – it’s full of the dumbest, fucking stupidest people you could ever have the misfortune of surviving any apocalypse, much less an undead apocalypse with.
I know, I know. The series is supposed to be an instant classic, and the best comic to anything ever created in the history of – everything. And it’s based on the classic comic series (which I have not read, nor ever intend to, if it is as dumb as the TV show) by famed comic team, Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore and Charlie Adlard. And these reasons alone, is supposed to make it something that everyone is supposed to be madly and unreservedly in love with it. And AMC has most certainly seen to it that the hype machine surrounding the show, will insure an undying legion of fans mindlessly flock to it without thought. Which is a hugely ironic, considering the program’s subject matter.
And I honestly cannot deny the allure of The Walking Dead‘s production values, or the prospect of an entire television show dedicated to the undead. Not the moody, emo, bloodsucking undead your ‘tween daughter and her ‘besties’ throw all of their brains out the window, along with over 150 years of women’s suffrage to go gaga over. No, these are ‘real’ undead. The kind who will suck your brains out through your nose before skullfucking your infected corpse, and moving on to do the same to the next hapless victim.
And this is the part of the show that AMC got right – the zombie apocalypse. Where it all goes horribly wrong, are all the dumbasses who supposedly on their own wits, wits they do not ever seem to exhibit now that we can see their adventures every Sunday on television, survived long enough for the AMC television crew to catch up with them in the first place. Anyone who is even halfway aware of zombies, undead and the end of the world scenario they likely pose, know many of the rules to survival by now. So why is it every episode of The Walking Dead sees our heroes(?) flagrantly flaunting their ignorance to even common sense survival tactics, much less ones specifically geared toward surviving an undead event?
And the series started out so nice, with so much promise. When he was on his own, Rick Grimes seems to have quickly gotten a handle on how things worked. He was completely clueless at the start, but he adapted quickly enough. Especially after he meets up with fellow survivor, Morgan Jones, who catches him up and shows him the ropes. You get the feeling from the beginning, that at the head of the show, is someone halfway competent in charge of things. Yet somehow by the end of episode three of season one, I was beginning to root for the undead, and not the survivors. And definitely by the end of season one, I was rooting for the undead full time. If these idiots are supposed to be the progenitors of the future human race, best to wipe all the dumb one out as quickly as possible, before they start to breed again. Out of their entire, little group, only two people show any signs of having actual working brain cells. There is Glenn, the Asian kid, who thinks quick enough on his feet, that he more than makes up for the occasional mistake he makes. And then there is Daryl. If there was an obvious person who should be leading our little band of survivors, then why not the one guy in the whole group who actually knows how to survive?!
Over the intervening months between the end of season one and the start of season two, I had actually forgotten all of the reasons that I had grown to not like The Walking Dead. Yet, less than six minutes into the season two premier, every last reason I grew to dislike the show, surfaced like a gaseous, bloated rotting corpse. The writing of this show really needs to pick up the pace. I really, really, really want to love this show. But with so many stupid and emo people clogging up screen time, AMC is making it extremely hard to enjoy what should be the best show on television. I’m at the point now, where I seriously am not sure I can bare to watch any more of this farce of an end of the world. Maybe it’s better to simply cut my loses and call it quits, before The Walking Dead completely ruins zombies for me? Quite frankly, I can get a much better undead experience, by getting together with a trio of friends, and playing Valve Entertainment’s zombie apocalypse simulator, Left 4 Dead 2. At least then I can be surrounded by a group of people actually trying to survive the undead end of the world, and not just merely using it as an excuse to air every emo chip on their shoulder about every other person in the group also trying to survive the day.